Hope all is well in the lives of my fellow seekers. I miss you all and the community very much. I have a couple of words of hello/love to send from some people in Pune. I was “discovered” during karaoke and ended up singing with the band during Sannyas… which was SO SO SO amazing… But Satyam and Atmo both send their love to everyone they know. Especially Satyam was so excited that I was connected to all of you. She specifically wanted that I send love to Samir, Ashik, Abhi… I forget who else.. If you were close she sends her love Abhi, I sang one of the songs you have written, “Now I see how beautiful this mystery…” Amazing how I have bridged the gap in time and space between the ashram, the people, the energy. It feels amazing and so special. I really want to thank all of you for how much love you showered upon me while I was in Boulder. It feels so nice to be loved.
My current state of affairs: I only had enough money to last 1 month in Pune, so I had to leave in a flash (Oh yeah- random thought: I got to see a death celebration! SO amazing, I was all a wreck in the pyramid. And coincidentally, the night before I had attended a night event where we watched the video: Death, the greatest fiction. I had a hard time staying present through the whole celebration, but just a few moments of dancing in the street and crying in the Pyramid with the body were life-changing in themselves.) …I don’t even know what to share with you guys.. Gratitude, my experiences?
My frustrations? Slowly slowly, VERY slowly, I feel like my heart is opening. At the ashram I had a few moments of abandon in dance.. so beautiful, weightless, possessed. I am getting many glimpses of what it would be like to be free. And, at the same time the frustration that I’m not there yet. I’m really holding myself back in a lot of ways. I only did about 10 days of Dynamic.. and never- for anything at the ashram- did I reach the level of totality I had during Awakening of Love. I am hoping totality is something that waxes and wanes and that my next go-around or next opportunity I will have worked up the courage and the urgency again.
I wish I could transmute the throbbing in my heart into these sentences and this email and that you could feel it when you open it.. I will try to possess the electrical current with my inner current…. Maybe it will work.
- love, Amanda